Parenting has always been stressful, but now more than ever it seems. So my heart goes out to moms and dads who struggle with the issue of how to keep their children safe without instilling undue fear – fear that can lead a child to heightened levels of stranger anxiety.
Stranger anxiety is a normal part of development that occurs in most children around the age of 6 or 7 months, and it ...Read More →
Some time ago, parents sought me out and indicated they very much wanted my assistance with their daughter. But when it came time to schedule an appointment, I had to contend with step-dancing on Mondays, piano lessons on Tuesdays, pottery class on Thursdays with sleepovers on Fridays. Barely eeking out C’s, the girl informed me that she did her homework in the car on the way to her various activities. Clearly too muchness was part of her ...Read More →
As a child psychoanalyst, I provide consultation services to tutors who work with children who have learning troubles. My job is to help them understand that behavior is a meaningful communication. Children can’t always tell you how they’re feeling; they let their behavior do the talking.
Recently a tutor reported that a boy showed up for class without his school supplies. So, the tutor gave him a pencil and paper only to learn that he “forgot ...Read More →
Your child has a history project due in two weeks, but he hasn’t even started. You’ve seen this behavior before — procrastination.
As is true of all childhood troubles, procrastination can have many causes. But this time, your son gives you an important clue about what’s going on: “I can’t do that assignment. It’s too hard!”
Often, procrastination is due to anxiety. Somehow that project feels way too big. And starting it, even thinking about it, ...Read More →
Bullying, a topic of concern to parents nationwide, is really a 2-year-old trouble. Toddlers can be very mean—biting, hitting and snatching things from others. This is why it is important for parents to be firm with toddlers.
“No. That’s mean and mommy (or daddy) want you to be a kind boy.” This message has to be repeated over and over again through the years whenever you see your child engaging in hurting behavior. Parents must ...Read More →
I think it’s important to think about things from a developmental perspective. So, let me take you back to the second half of your child’s first year of life. Remember the biting? Remember how it hurt? Well sarcastic children no longer bite with their teeth; they bite with their words. But their biting comments still hurt.
Unfortunately sarcasm is rampant in our society. Just turn on the TV and you’ll get a big dose of the mean-spirited comments that America calls ...Read More →
Pretend your son and his friend are playing basketball in the driveway. When his friend hits at long range and proceeds to celebrate, your son gets angry and hurls the ball at him. When you intervene he insists he didn’t do what you just witnessed through the window.
When it’s obvious a child is lying, tell him that you (or another witness) saw him do what he denies. Then you must ...Read More →